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On Throwing in the Towel: Crazy Days

Margo stole my phone and took at least forty photos of the accountant.

Margo stole my phone and took at least forty photos of the accountant.

I’m looking down at myself and I see mud on my ankles, my shirt smells like… ewww… sour milk, my nipple is wounded, I’ve got finger prints that I’m ignoring on my glasses and I’m sitting cross legged because I’m scared if I sit any other way, an electric shock is going to rip through my thigh.  Goldie turned four months old today and all last night she was waking up every few hours… the reason:  She was learning to roll in her sleep!  Seriously, she kept trying to roll all night long, and finally, first thing in the morning she did it!

The past few days I’ve been doing some serious baby wearing, like 5 or 6 hours a day + running around after Margo.  Margo’s been pretty worn out from all the running around too.  A few weeks ago I was telling a friend of mine, who is about six months pregnant, that when you have a baby, it’s not a question of whether or not you’re going to hurt your back from carrying them around, it’s more a question of how bad and when.  We were also talking about how in other cultures, it’s not solely up to the mother to wear and tote around her baby.  Baby wearing is is shared by family; grandmas, aunties, cousins, and sometimes even designated baby wearers.  Well, we’re so smart in the first world countries that we practice, isolated-do-it-yourself-child-rearing that we’ve decided that we only need ourselves to carry around our fat babies.  I’m not saying that baby wearing is bad for your back!  In fact, many people who never even wear their babies at all, often hurt their backs just from simple lifting and caring for a small little person who is dependent on you for just about… everything.  It’s just that I’ve totally over done it, as usual.

So, anyway, we all woke up this morning around 4:30am… usual wake up time these days now that it’s summer.  Margo was actually pleasant this morning and instead of wailing like a siren for boobies, she woke up nicely and said with her most polite manners: ‘Mommy, can I please have some boobies?‘. Sure kiddo, since you asked so nicely…  She was up and and a few minutes after booby time, Goldie was up too.  Art was out the door by 5:45 to catch the bus to work and by 6:00am, Goldie was back asleep and Margo was playing around in the living room, while I took the opportunity to do my daily breathing, yoga and meditation that I do everyday and learned from the Art of Living Foundation years ago.  Margo sort of let me do it.  She only interrupted a few times, and sat on my lap through most of the meditation.  But, I’ve gotten so used to this and as long as she’s not dangerously jumping on me it’s ok (one time I got smashed pretty good right on the bridge of my nose when she tripped on my yoga mat and landed on me… who ever said meditating isn’t living on the dangerous side ;).

I was feeling pretty good by around 7 ish, but I could see that Margo was getting really sleepy and SUPER grumpy!  A soft rain started and it was really dark in the house… gosh… I thought, maybe we could just all get back in bed?  After all, Margo was walking around like a zombie and yawning. Goldie had woken up sleepy and went back to bed (she totally gets the go back to sleep thing).  I suggested it to Margo and she agreed.  So, we all jumped in bed and I started to doze, but Margo was starting to get some strange energy burst, and starting to get super annoying!  And, I started getting really really really angry!  There’s no use in getting angry over a toddler who won’t go to sleep.  But, um… I’m sure every parent has been there at least once 🙂  Probably countless times.  I didn’t mind so much if she would not go to sleep, but she was kicking the bed and making it bounce and yapping away, which could have done one of two things A) would have disturbed her baby sister B) could have actually kicked or jumped on her baby sister.  Oh… Goldie was so cuddly and Margo was so squirmy!  I even tried holding Margo a bit, to see if she had to cry or if there was some emotional release and maybe that was the reason she wasn’t falling asleep, but she only would scream and carrying with her eyes close, looking like she wanted to sleep, but then would ask to go back to bed and would wake back up.   I was nodding off and Margo kept getting more and more awake and then and poking Goldie then… ‘Mommy I have to go potty‘.  Grrrrrrrrr!!!!  Ok, up we go, except for some reason she’s screaming and crying (don’t ask me why, I can’t remember).  At one point I even went ‘Grrrrrr‘ and hit the wall with the palm of my hand (duh… stupid… wall… doesn’t move… hand hurts).  ‘Grrrrr‘ of deep frustration and exhaustion.

Anyway, forget the nap.  Once again, I thought, if Margo’s not going to sleep, I’m going to go and wear her out!  It had stopped raining, so I packed up the kids, with some food and provisions, and we drove to one of our favorite places: Currumbin Wildlife Sanctuary.  Right when we got on the train to go see the kangaroos, it started bucketing rain!  Ok, no worries, I’ve got my umbrelly. Instead of going to the kangaroo paddock, we hopped off at a different station and went to watch a magic show followed by a bird show, all undercover from the rain.  Margo thought it was all pretty cool, and cool that we were doing something different from the usual.  Goldie was a bit overwhelmed because of the noisy rain hitting the tin roof shed where we were watching our shows.  She was alert for a while, but then, the stimulation was getting to be too much, so she started searching for some boobs.  Ok… we were sitting off to the side of the show, so I started feeding her and felt that she had a wet nappy…. sigh… I know that there is no way on earth that she was going to have a feed feeling wet (cloth nappies, they really feel it).  I did a stealthy change-in-public, then put her back on the boob.  But, for some reason, she was still fussing at the breast!  Kicking her legs and nearly squealing.  Margo was asking me about a million questions about the magic show and I was trying to keep my body turned so that the 14 year old looking boy sitting behind me didn’t catch a nipple shot.  I finally got Goldie sort of cozy on there, but then something was hurting really bad!  Gosh, could she have a tooth?  Is she biting me?  What is going on?  I didn’t want to disturb her because she had finally settled.  She came off and on a few more times and then was finished and I took a look at my boob to see what was causing the pain and there was this huge swollen red spot on the areola!  OMG!  Not that I could really go inspecting it at that moment… so I just had to ignore it.

The shows were over, the rain had slowed down, Goldie was asleep in the baby wrap and Margo and I went down to the kangaroo paddock, me just ignoring the nipple wound I had just endured.  Got to the kangaroos and discovered that the kangaroos mob all the visitors when it’s raining.  They want food!  Margo was freaking out… they never do this!  So, we headed to the train station, which is inside the kangaroo paddock.  The kangaroos were swarming us and the train was late and Goldie started fussing.  For about 15 minutes, I stood there holding Goldie in one arm (she wanted out of the wrap), and fending off kangaroos with the other.  Got on the train, got to the main station and rushed to the safety of the dry car to inspect my boob wound, take Goldie to the potty (she did a big poo when I took her), and to contain Margo and feed her some food.  The thing on my boob looks like  a hickey!   The only thing I can think is that Goldie wasn’t even latched on to the nipple and was just sucking next to it and I was so busy answering Margo’s questions, etc. that I couldn’t tell what was going on!  Oh, I don’t know!  You would like that after almost 3 years of breastfeeding experience up my sleeve that I would be able to sense that one?!

Got home, took a nap with the girls, then rushed out the door to pick up Art because we all had to go to the accountant to get our taxes done.  The office was in the most life-deprived-windowless piece of real-estate I have ever been to in my life.  Fluorescent lights, strange long hallways, dirty carpets, low ceilings… not the place you want to spend an hour with two kids.  It wasn’t all too bad, and then sometime during the end of it, my pinched nerve, started really pinching!  Oh, I give up!  What’s up with this day?!  It’s been happening for the past couple months randomly.  It feels like an electric shock and scares me when it happens!  It usually happens once, I get a little shock and move positions, and it goes away.  But, it wouldn’t stop!  Art got me out of there as fast as he could.  When I got home, I gave him the kids and went into the bedroom to do some stretching and got on this thing called a mah roller (a wooden back massager).

I sort of passed out too, there on the floor.  Woke up, made dinner, put the kiddies to sleep and fell asleep too.  Feeling so much better now…. And, I type really fast, so when I woke up around 10:30 and everyone was asleep, I decided that I should document our crazy day 🙂  It’s so funny to think back at how the moments in the day really drive you nuts.  I’m glad I can laugh about it all now… I know other people have crazy days like this all the time.  I hope they can laugh about it too, at the end of the day!  Time to snuggle with the babies!

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