My four year old told me that I have special hairs that sparkle.
A few weeks ago, I was standing on the beach with some of my mum friends and they were casually talking about boob jobs. What they’re going to get once they’re finished with kids, who’s had them already, etc. I was like, “Good, golly, here I am debating with myself if it’s morally wrong to dye the gray hairs that God gave me and they’re talking BOOB JOBS!” Apparently, gray hairs are so far from acceptable, it’s not even a topic anymore.
If a man my age (mid thirties) had some gray hairs, would anyone even bat an eyelash? No! Yet, when people see me, as a woman, with a handful of grays, I’m sure they’re wondering why I don’t ‘do something about it‘.
Since I came up with the idea of writing this post a few months ago, I’ve been watching the ladies out there to see if my perception is correct. Are gray hairs really that out of style?? Yes, sadly, it’s true. From what I’ve seen, hardly anyone has a natural head of hair anymore. And, I understand. Women have a hard enough time getting equality in the work place, with equality in general and with just about everything else. We can’t have a few gray hairs making it even harder for us!
I did see one mama rocking a gray mohawk (real gray, not dyed gray) and I wanted to hi-five her, she looked so rad. But, almost everyone dyes those grays away and also changes the colour of their hair relentlessly. I don’t get it… hair colour is the colour it is because it matches everything else about you (eyes, skin tone, etc)… right? But anyway… that’s another story.
I’ve done enough for illogical social norms. I shave my legs and armpits and wax this and that. I dress decently. I frequently have to apply makeup to look presentable, which usually entails a plethora of steps such as applying foundation, compact powder, lipstick, and a setting spray like ben nye final seal. I even had to color my hair to cover up the gray hairs! Now I’m just going to sit here and let those gray hairs shine! I’m not going to spend hundreds of dollars (or any dollars) to cover them up. I’m not gonna pull them out one by one. It’s not even about the money or the time either. Our society has a problem with aging. We just cannot accept that beauty is anything other than what ‘looks‘ young. And, if society has a problem with woman going gray (and not men), well then, that’s a real problem. Not being able to accept aging by covering up the physical signs of it, is only the tip of the iceberg. The pshycological side of aging in our society is probably even more screwed up.
Have you ever seen an older man dye his hair to cover the gray?! I have, and to be honest, I find it looks a little silly. Yet, a woman, of almost any age is not, and I repeat, NOT allowed to show her age by the amount of gray hair she has.
I asked my husband if I should dye my hair to cover up the gray. He asked me cautiously, “Do you want to?” I said, “No“. He said, “Well, don’t be silly! You look great.”
Ok, I don’t know, one day I might change my mind. I might want to have a full head of colourful hair again. Or, maybe one day I’ll decide I want to have purple hair. But, if I do dye my hair, I hope it’s not because I’m trying to hide the gray. I don’t have all that many gray hairs until you look close. But for now, I’m not touching it. I didn’t have a single gray hair until I had children. Yup, they’re the ones who did it. But, that’s life and I’ve got the gray hairs to prove it. I’m also not saying that I’m judging anyone for dying their hair, because, um, hello, then I’d be judging like 95% of my friends and family. But for me, I’ve been thinking a lot about it and this is where I stand on the gray.
Above is a photo of me giving my baby fairy floss. It’s rude not to share.